NSW couple who won tourism competition among the first to marry as law change comes into effect
Nine o'clock on a Monday morning might not be the most obviously romantic time of the week, but avowals of love and commitment were being exchanged throughout New Zealand at breakfast time as the law allowing same-sex marriage came into effect.
Thirty-one same-sex couples had given official notice to marry on 19 August, and ceremonies were under way as early as 8am. Several were tying the knot as part of radio station promotions, while one pair walked down a different sort of aisle in a wedding at 30,000 feet, somewhere between Queenstown and Auckland, as winners of an Air New Zealand contest.
In Wellington, Australians Paul McCarthy and Trent Kandler were married at New Zealand's waterfront national museum, Te Papa Tongarewa. The men, from Newcastle, New South Wales, had been flown with their families to the capital after winning a New Zealand Tourism competition.
If the circumstances were unusual, the wedding, conducted at Te Marae, the museum's rainbow-coloured meeting space, was full of the essentials: expensive clothing, parents giving their blessings, tearful vows – even a small child making mischief in the front row.
Speaking after the ceremony, the couple said they had watched the progress of the New Zealand law closely. "We were watching. We were waiting," McCarthy said. "The competition is a really amazing way to get here – but we were coming anyway."
The couple, who have been together for 11 years, had "contemplated getting married in Canada, five years ago," Kandler said.
McCarthy finishes his sentence for him: "But it's not just about the piece of paper – it's about having your friends and family there to hold you to account for that.
"It's about your community, saying, 'This is what I've chosen: I've chosen Trent to be the person I will love above all others.' And that's a bit hollow unless you can do it in front of the people who are important to you.
"We had a commitment ceremony about two years ago – that was kind of our engagement. So two years we've been engaged. But as soon as 77-44 was read out in parliament, we knew we were going to come to New Zealand."
That "77-44" refers to the MPs' final conscience vote on the legislation which made New Zealand the 15th country in the world to allow same-sex marriage. The final reading attracted attention around the world, with clips of the public gallery singing the Maori song Pokarekare Ana and a conservative National MP's jovial dismissal of the fears of a "gay onslaught" receiving hundreds of thousands of views.
Louisa Wall, the Labour MP who put forward the private member's bill that extended the scope of the New Zealand Marriage Act to same-sex couples, read a Maya Angelou poem at the breakfast wedding of Natasha Vitalia and Melissa Ray, which began at 8am at the Unitarian church on Auckland's Ponsonby Road.
The confetti-speckled day showed how the marriage equality campaign had "captured the imagination of New Zealanders", said Wall, a part-Maori and former New Zealand representative in netball and rugby union.
The redefinition of marriage represented "a continuation of New Zealand's proud human rights tradition", she said, pointing to the extension of suffrage to women in 1893 and the ongoing Treaty of Waitangi settlement process with the indigenous Maori. This was "another iteration of the principle of what we stand for, against discrimination".
Wall and her partner, Prue Kapua, were considering becoming married on the two-year anniversary of their civil union ceremony in December.
The Australian opposition leader, Tony Abbott, who has dismissed marriage equality as a "fashion of the moment", was missing an opportunity to prove himself capable of being a global leader, Wall said.
"I would say to him that this isn't a fashion statement. Australia is one of the world's great countries. Does he want to lead a country that marginalises parts of his community?"
In Wellington, McCarthy said Kevin Rudd's pledge to provide a conscience vote on marriage equality was encouraging, but offered little hope as long as Abbott refused to allow his MPs a free vote. "His sister's a lesbian," he said. "I don't know how he can possibly allow her to live her life as a second-class citizen, when he has the capacity to change that. I don't know how the man does that."
In the meantime, they hoped their experience might "make a little bit of a difference in people's minds, and show Australians that there's nothing to worry about from marriage equality", McCarthy said.
"We don't have two horns, we're just like everybody else. Hopefully before long they'll grant us the dignity and respect so that we can say that we can stand up in front of our communities in our own country and marry."
With the Australian Marriage Equality campaign estimating that as many as 1,000 gay couples could travel across the Tasman to marry, despite the fact that the ceremonies would have no legal status in Australia, it represents a potentially lucrative new market for New Zealand.
Tourism operators were keen to "maximise the opportunity and encourage Australians to come here", said Kerry Prendergast, a former Wellington mayor and chair of the New Zealand Board, who also acted as celebrant for the Te Papa wedding.
Tourism New Zealand promotions targeting same-sex couples in Australia would continue, she said, and could soon be extended into other countries such as China and Japan.
On the question of the slow progress of similar reforms across the Tasman, Prendergast said her feeling were mixed.
"On one hand they can take as long as they like. It's to New Zealand's advantage. But on the other hand, in it's time Australia moved on and understood the world's moved – same-sex couples should have the same rights as everyone else to get married."
