Clik here to view.
Sadhbh Walshe on why she picked a comment by MalDeDebarquement on her piece about women who choose not to have children
In this series Comment is free writers and editors want to highlight some of the best comments on the site. Each week, either an editor or the author of a recent piece will pick a comment that they think contributes to the debate. Hopefully it will give staff and readers an opportunity to see how thought-provoking such contributions can be and allow great posts the chance to be seen by a wider audience.
This week, Sadhbh Walshe has chosen a comment by MalDeDebarquement on her article about the sexist reaction to a study on women choosing not to have children.
"Given the huge amount of resources consumed by each new person, the environmental destruction they wreak and indeed the risk that their life will be miserable, surely having children is by far more selfish than not doing so?
I have nothing against having children – I will probably have my own one day. But I have never understood how people could think of it as 'selfless'. It seems to me to be one of the most selfish things you can possibly do.
Making a sacrifice for other people's children – now that's selfless."
Sadhbh explains why she chose this comment:
"I liked that this comment brought to light an under-discussed element of the selfish/selfless kiddie debate. Like a lot of people (and a childfree woman to boot) I'm kind of mystified by the notion that not having children is somehow selfish and having them is selfless. Sleepless nights aside, I think most people who have children seem to be pretty thrilled about it and tend to think of their kids as a 'blessing' and so on. At the very least they can rejoice in the comfort of knowing there will be someone on hand to drop them off at the old folks' home when the time comes. So you can hardly call the decision to have a child a "selfless" one, but considering, as this commenter pointed out, that the planet is overpopulated and running low on resources, you could – if you were to use the same mean-spirited argument that is used to condemn the childfree – call it selfish."
MalDeDebarquement tells us his reasons for commenting on Walshe's piece, and gives us a bit of personal information:
Have you commented on Cif before?
Yes.
For how long have you commented on Cif?
I've been commenting on Cif since 2010 (under a different username).
How would you describe the community of commenters you find here?
It's a mix. There are generally some views that attract a herd mentality, and a lot of kneejerk reactions. But there is a core of very thoughtful commenters who balance that out.
Why did you feel motivated to comment on this piece?
I've always found it bizarre when people said it was "selfish" not to have children, as if there were a shortage of people around. For many years, I was uncertain whether I wanted children, and although I've finally begun to feel a strong paternal instinct, I'm very clear that it's a lifestyle choice, not some selfless moral act.
In regards to your comment highlighted here, do you feel you changed the conversation or moved the debate on?
Not really; there were very few commenters who took the opposing view to begin with.
Where are you in the world?
I normally live in London, but I've been in Beijing for the past two years.
• Let us know your thoughts on this exchange in the comments below, and tell us whether it has given you a new insight into the issue
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.