Joe Biden, Michelle Obama and Stephen Colbert are just some of the heavy-hitters speaking at college graduations this year
Every year around this time, clusters of newly minted "adults" in caps and gowns sit like sponges, soaking up the wisdom that booms from the front of the auditorium:
"Parents, friends, distinguished guests, graduates of the class of 2013 …"
So begins the commencement speech, a tradition at college and university graduations around the US. They can be boring, they can be painfully sincere, and they can also be the stuff of legend. Nearly 10 years after David Foster Wallace presented This is Water at Kenyon College, the speech was transformed into a short film and went viral.
Last year had some pretty powerful speeches, and 2013 is off to a pretty good start. Navigate this list to see who's taken a turn at the podium so far:
Week one:
* Joe Biden
* Michelle Obama (Round One)
* Julie Andrews
* Nate Silver
* Neil deGrasse Tyson
* Bill Clinton
* Melinda Gates
Week two
* Barack Obama
* Michelle Obama (Round Two)
* Cory Booker
* Stephen Colbert
* Arianna Huffington
Vice-president Joe Biden, University of Pennsylvania, 13 May: 'I'm not making this up'
Say what? "There will be no U-Haul truck behind my casket."
Quotes: Steve Jobs.
Theme: Hard to pin down. The veep's speech touched on pretty much everything: immigration, gay rights, climate change, the economy, technological innovation, women's rights, Vietnam, China's expansion and the war in Iraq.
Humor: Five-star. By far the funniest of the recent commencement addresses.
Advice: "I have gained too much wisdom to offer any advice."
Best line: "Don't listen to the cynics. They were wrong about my generation and they were wrong about yours."
Michelle Obama, Eastern Kentucky University, 11 May: 'We're all called to serve'
In her first of three commencement speeches this year, Flotus urged graduates to go out and find students with different systems of belief. "If you're a Democrat, spend some time talking to a Republican," Obama told about 600 education, business and technology graduates last weekend. "And if you're a Republican, have a chat with a Democrat. We know what happens when we only talk to people who think like we do. We just get stuck in our ways."
Julie Andrews, University of Colorado, 10 May: 'When adversity hits, go out and learn something'
Say what? "When I was driving in from the airport, I wanted to get out of the car, go over to a grassy knoll and do my signature turn from the Sound of Music."
Quotes: TH White
Theme: The importance and power of the arts.
Humor: 2/5.
We learned: Andrews never finished high school and she also never went to college.
Applause: Loud.
Surprise: Many more sound of music references than we had anticipated.
Best line: "So congratulations, dear students. These hills are truly alive with the graduating class of 2013."
Nate Silver, Ripon College, 12 May: 'You're entering a world awash with data and statistics'
Say what?: "By election day last year, more people were Googling my name than the vice-president's".
Quotes: Various articles written about himself.
Theme: "The theme of this presentation is data and decisions."
Humor: 2/5.
Advice: "Accountability doesn't mean apologizing. It means learning from your mistakes and changing your behavior next time around."
We learned: "The trees are just the right size at Ripon".
In a word: Literal.
Applause: He doesn't stop talking for long enough to hear any.
Most similar to: One of his columns read aloud.
Neil deGrasse Tyson, Rice University, 11 May: 'America has lost its exploratory compass'
The popular astrophysicist's powerful speech focused on space funding. He spoke of the current state of space exploration and told the new graduates that the future of the industry is in their hands.
"You know why [private enterprise] can't lead it? Because space is expensive, it's dangerous and it has unquantified risks. You put all three of those under one umbrella – it cannot establish a capital market valuation of that exercise."
Bill Clinton, Howard University, 11 May: 'You must feel empowered'
Say what? "I am well aware that the commencement speech is the least important part of this day."
Quotes: The Quran, The Bible, The Dhammapada.
Theme: What we have in common is more important than our difference.
Humor: 3/5.
We learned: At Clinton's Georgetown graduation, a hard rain cut the mayor's commencement speech short. "Congratulations. If we don't get out of here we're all going to drown", he said.
Applause: The man can work a crowd.
Surprise: Addressed the student debt crisis (briefly).
Best line: "Creative co-operation works better than constant conflict and we forget that at our peril."
Melinda Gates, Duke, 12 May: 'Reject the cynics'
Quotes: Martin Luther King Jr.
Theme: The possibilities of human connection.
Humor: 0.5/5
We learned: In the 1970s, Duke University used to "grow" mutant frogs in the science building.
In a word: Sincere.
Applause: Rare.
Best line:
I don't want you to connect, for connection's sake alone. I want you to connect because it will inspire you to do something. To take action. To make a difference in the world. Humanity in the abstract will never inspire you the way meeting another human being will. Poverty is not going to inspire you to do something, but meeting people – that will inspire you.
Barack Obama, Morehouse College, 19 May: 'Along with collective responsibilities, we have individual responsibilities'
Say what? "Some of you are graduating summa cum laude. Some of you are graduating magna cum laude. I know some of you are just graduating, 'thank you, Lordy.' That's appropriate because it's a Sunday."
Quotes: Benjamin Mays, former president of Morehouse; Martin Luther King.
Theme: Using education to improve community and society; the government's ability to improve the lives of its citizens; the importance of personal responsibility.
Humor: 4/5, with most zingers coming right off the top.
Advice: "Just as Morehouse has taught you to expect more of yourselves, inspire those who look up to you to expect more of themselves."
Applause: Of course.
Best line:
"I will say it betrays a poverty of ambition if all you think about is what goods you can buy instead of what good you can do."
Michelle Obama, Bowie State University, 17 May: 'Be an example of excellence for the next generation'
Say what? "I just wish I could sing. Can't sing a lick."
Quotes: Frederick Douglass, Alice Walker, the Bowie State University school song.
Theme: Overcoming adversity through education.
Humor: 2/5.
Advice: "Be an example of excellence for the next generation and do everything you can to help them understand the power and purpose of a good education."
Applause: Frequent – and at all the points, the speech was designed to elicit them.
Best line:
"... Be that flame of fate, that torch of truth to guide our young people toward a better future for themselves and for this country."
Cory Booker, Yale College, 19 May: 'Be love, be kindness, be justice'
Say what? "That is not Darth Vader's hat, that is Boba Fett for crying out loud!"
Theme: The importance of learning from your darkest moments, and always practicing compassion.
Humor: 3/5
Advice: "Most of all, be kind."
Applause: A fair amount.
Best line:
"Real courage is holding on to a still voice in your head that says 'I must keep going.' It's that voice that says nothing is a failure if it is not final – that voice that says to you: 'Get out of bed. Keep going. I will not quit."
Stephen Colbert, University of Virginia, 18 May: 'This is an impressive institution because it rejected my application'
Say what? "As has been stated before, the most impressive ranking of all has once again has to be Playboy naming you the number one party school in America. Now to be clear, I only read Playboy for the rankings."
Quotes: UVA founder President Thomas Jefferson.
Theme: The need for this generation to forge its own path to success.
Humor: 5/5
Advice: "If you must find your own path, and we have left you no easy path, then decide now to choose the hard path that leads to the life and world that you want. And don't worry if we don't approve of your choice."
Applause: A ton, but this was outnumbered by the laughs.
Best line:
"While traditional paths may seem harder to find, that also means that you will learn the hard lesson sooner than most generations that you must always make the path for yourself."
Arianna Huffington, Smith College, 19 May: 'Lead the third women's revolution'
Say what? "Congratulations. You have reached the light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm sure that when you first arrived at Smith four years ago you never would have imagined that at the other end of that tunnel would be a lady behind a podium talking to you in a funny accent."
Quotes: Archimedes, the Founding Fathers, Dr Seuss.
Theme: The need for today's women to redefine success.
Humor: 5/5
Advice: Get some sleep. Seriously.
Applause: Frequent.
Best line:
"Remember that while there will be plenty of signposts along your path directing you to make money and climb up the ladder, there will be very few signposts reminding you to stay connected to the essence of who you are, to take care of yourself along the way, to reach out to others, to pause to wonder, and to connect to that place from which everything is possible."